Ann Deborah Fishman should never be allowed to write or direct a film again. She should definitely not be allowed to write again. I’m not too sure she has encountered other people or overheard a conversation before. As for her grasp on relationships and their intricacies, on the evidence of Swiped, her film on Netflix, it is pretty tenuous. Let me explain.
French (Scott Atkins) is struggling to keep his traditional martial arts dojo open. He has got very little money coming in and another, more profitable martial arts operator, Roger (David William Ho), is trying to buy him out. French is also behind on his rent and needs to make money fast. He asks a friend, Alex (Michael Paré), to get him some work. Alex tries to dissuade him from that path. French says he is alright with it.
Everybody likes to laugh. Whether it is with friends or alone, at something you have seen on social media, television or read, laughing is something that is enjoyed universally. There are few things in life that bring more unfettered joy, a total disconnect from any worries or stress, than a good hearty, unrestrained laugh.
A robot (body - Luke Hawker, voice - Rose Byrne) lives alone in a vast bunker. The bunker has been built to sustain hum life and contains over sixty thousand human embryos. The robot selects one, a female, and grows it. As the child grows, she addresses the robot as Mother. The robot addresses her as Daughter.
Asa Butterfield is a terrible dancer. Truly, truly awful. Or at least Calvin, the character he plays in Netflix’s Departures is. Calvin is a hypochondriac working as a baggage handler in an airport. Such is the extent of his hypochondria, his doctor, Dr Collins (Ron Simons), sends him to a cancer support group to try and cure him of his affliction.
I watch a lot of films. A lot. I have always loved film and television and, though it is impossible to see everything - I have to work after all - I have seen a fair few films. Having said that, there are still a lot of films that I have not seen, films that a person who considers himself a bit of a film buff, should have seen. This is a little embarrassing.
Oh my lord. A true contender for the worst film on Netflix. Alien Warfare is terrible and currently holds the title, in my opinion, of the worst film on Netflix. Peelers is a worthy challenger, a film that somehow managed to make nudity boring. However, five minutes into My Perfect Romance, shitty background music and amateurish editorial split screens aplenty, I am thinking that Alien Warfare may lose its crown.
It was as far back as Luc Besson’s 1990 Nikita where the popularity for a lone wolf, female assassin/vigilante/superspy probably begun. There had been female action films and television before that. The seventies had Pam Grier and Tamara Dobson, in Foxy Brown and Cleopatra Jones respectively.
Only five minutes in and I can see why this film scored three point seven on IMDB. Might be some sort of a record. Generally, I don’t critique acting, because actors are at the mercy of the director, script and one another. Being an actor is hard. The competition is fierce, the rejection constant, the availability of good, paying, projects rare.